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therapeutic thump

i like your moxie, sassafras!

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that's a joke . . . right?
dean says wtf
My dad is sitting on my couch, watching 60 Minutes, and a commercial just came on. Youngish guy (whom I should clearly recognize) looks out at the camera and says, "This holiday season, do you want to do something special for the woman in your life? Schedule her for a pap smear. Show you care, by giving her the gift even Santa can't give." Then a "cbscares" logo comes on - CBS cares, clearly, but of course I read it as CB Scares. Certainly, I am scarred for life. Yeah, I totally want my man scheduling my pap smears; I would totally rock his world after that.

ETA: He didn't say "the woman in your life" - he said "your woman." GROOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
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Ahahahahaha... No really, that's the most hilarious/ridiculous thing I've heard of in awhile.

Joel, please address this on your next show!

I just . . . I do not understand how this is an actual commercial.

Heh, networks will give airtime to anyone, I guess.

Oh, but, Santa COULD give that gift, only that might quite a twist on the "knows when you've been naughty" thing.

I read it as "Scares," too. The thing that gets me the most, is that news stations including CBS were only just promoting fewer pap smears (following the "fewer mammograms" push a few days earlier). So this is how they're trying to make up for trying to kill off women with those recommendations?

I wasn't thrilled with the "Wymmins, you should schedule your mens for colonoscopies and prostate exams, because you know they're just dumb little boys who don't take care of themselves" adverts for the past several years, either. How about appealing to the intelligence and personal responsibility of your viewers, networks? I suppose that's too much to ask.

I kept thinking horrible Santa-gyno thoughts too. Yuck.

Yeah, I read about the fewer pap smears required, so what gives, CBS? Fortunately, I *don't* remember the colonoscopy/prostate exam commercials. Yikes.

Eurgh. Well, at least it's better than those "save the boobies" breast cancer ads aimed at men. Don't save the women or anything, just the "boobies".

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For example.

(I'm a cancer survivor, but no-one wants to save my sexy, sexy thyroid. *sobs*)

Ewwwww, really? That's appalling.

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Ha! That could very well be!

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I kind of want to know what my face looked like at the moment I realized that commercial was for real. o.O would be the least of it, I suspect.

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It's not like you can do it yourself or anything!

Jayzus god. Please just....stop, world. Stop being so amazingly crass and gruesome and get the fuck *away* from my uterus. All of you.

I'm sorry, the world you're requesting does not currently exist. The wait time is . . . several years.

"Hey honey, how about you schedule a day off work on March 25th?"

"Oooh, what do you have planned? A trip? A sexy day off together?"

"No, darling, I'll be at work, but I made an appointment for you to go have your cervix investigated."

*blank stare* "Thanks a bunch, but I did that two months ago."

RIGHT? Let's make a deal - I'll worry about my body and you worry about yours, and that will be the end of it!

That's.... wow. o.O As a canadian, I can't even explain how much extra weird that sounds.

As a human being, it sounds plenty weird to me. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Manages to be more awkward than 'toys' to give during a family Holiday gathering, and way, way more personal than a toaster, (and in the wrong way), while conveying the message "I'm deeply invested in your lady parts."

Just watch, next year there'll be a Hallmark card for it. XD


Seriously, I got nothing.

I am coming up TOTALLY blank. Who thought this was a good idea? And who is that guy?

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At least they're not do-it-yourself kits or anything! GOD!

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