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therapeutic thump

i like your moxie, sassafras!

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a little note of cheer in a pit of suck
me in springfield
I feel like I've been failing at all sorts of things lately. Work is stressful beyond belief, as a very large-scale project I've been managing is being pushed into super-high gear (it's been in high gear since the end of January) and toward (a possibly premature) completion. If this project succeeds, it's going to be great and make a lot of things at this place so much smoother and better and smarter. If it fails, though, that's all going to fall on me, because the person who conceived of the project and foisted it on me is the type to take credit but assign blame.

I can't even guarantee the girls who are working for me on this project a timeline for how much longer they'll be employed, because that decision has been taken out of my hands, even though they report to me, I keep an eye on what they're doing, and no one else even gets what they're doing. So clearly I should not be the judge of whether they are doing well or not.

I've barely written - I've done a lot of birthday fics and ficlets (and I have another to try to tackle this weekend), but I haven't been able to touch either of the two big projects I wanted: (a) the super-long childhood AU I started for spn_j2_bigbang or (b) the next Ben and Dean scene. I feel really down in the dumps about both of them; it was in October that I posted scene ten of the series, and I saw someone mentioning that she'd been waiting for scene eleven for what felt like forever. I can't find the time to write, due to work and additional stresses, and I can't get into the right frame of mind either. I need a cheer IV or something. Stat.

But! This helped! This is an excerpt from a Comic-Con panel for Fringe, the new show starring the adorable Joshua Jackson and co-created by J. J. Abrams (http://www.thefutoncritic.com/rant.aspx?id=20080726_fringe): "J.J. says Supernatural is one of Joshua's favorite shows and he finds it a good show as well." Yay! I have fond hopes that the CW heard that, patted itself on the back, and decided to give the show a fifth year and money for music. Here's hoping.

Anyway. How are you all doing?

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I wish I could cheer you up. I know it makes it harder when you're blocked and that writing outlet is cut off from helping. It's nice to see that in talks about an upcoming "big" network show Supernatural gets a mention.

You know what I like so much about Ben and Dean? Their interaction. As much as you're telling a specific story about them, each of the moments you write about are exactly that. Moments. Big and small. It's like looking in on your favorite couple (who you happen to like to watch getting it on) and seeing them relate. Watching how two people love each other. The intimicies and trust that go with belonging together. I know you're getting near the end of the story and don't want it to end but it's not going to. Not really. And people will always come up with cool requests about them. You'll probably come up with ideas. They've got these lives going on outside of the writers concious mins and I think they'll speak to you again. It's a long life together they're planning on living. There's a lot of story there, told or not. Remember that. And know those of us who get it, get that sometimes it's a wait for the next story. And when it's over, with writing, it's never over. We can reread and we can daydream and we can prompt. You're awesome and amazing and so talented. And you make me happy on my worst days (and I have many for my life is not of the good) because you friended me back and you show up on my flist and I see your name and I smile so big. That's one of those people in fandom I respect, look up to, makes me happy and she's on MY flist. I'd send you Jensen suckling a yellow flower to cheer you up, but alas, I don't have him. (and if I did I don't think I could let go of him since it's combining my two favorite things, pretty boy, yellow flowers...but I'd try ;-) )

You *did* cheer me up - never mind the tears in my eyes.

Thank you so much for these lovely words!

I am so touched that Ben and Dean mean so much to you, and that you were generous enough to cheer me like this. My flist is so much better for having you on it.

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