therapeutic thump

i like your moxie, sassafras!


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birthday ficlet (Supernatural, "Yellow") for esorlehcar!
the arch of the eyebrows gives it away
innie_darling
A tiny little ficlet based on a prompt monkiedude gave me many moons ago, finished for esorlehcar, whose thoughtful and painstaking recs list makes me deliriously happy and who deserves a fantastic birthday. Happy birthday, baby!



"Yellow"

Daddy thinks he's making sense. He's not, but Sammy knows if he said so, Daddy would get all red in the face and use words like "logic" and "respect" and he might even get a spanking and the monster will still be in his closet.

At least Dean knows. “Dad,” Dean says slowly, like he wants to make sure he doesn’t get a spanking, but Daddy hardly ever spanks him, just shakes his head and gives him the silent treatment. “Wouldn’t Sammy be safer with us? I mean, waiting in the car?” Sammy smiles but Dean doesn't look over at him.

“Dean, get your gear,” is all Daddy says, like he can't hear Dean even though Dean is right there. Even if he can't hear, he can read lips, right?

“Dad,” Dean tries again, his eyes on the gun he's assembling, “he’s only nine.” Dean's been waiting weeks to hold that gun, so Sammy's surprised he's able to talk while he touches it.

Daddy’s face lights up like Dean's just walked into a trap during training. “When you were nine, Dean, you could handle yourself. Let’s give Sammy a chance to prove he can too.”

Yeah. It's all a big favor Daddy's doing him. Right. And the thing in his closet only wants to bring him lollipops.

He looks desperately at Dean, but Dean’s face is all tight and funny and he knows his brother won’t make another sound. At the door, Dean puts out his hand for a fist-bump but he pretends not to see it and closes the door behind them.

He locks the door and goes straight to Dean’s dresser. He pulls out the huge bag of peanut M&M’s Dean had hidden – gross – under his socks and rips it open, shoving handfuls of candy down his throat.

The bag is half empty when it hits him that Dean could die out there. He’s big and strong and brave, but werewolves are bigger and stronger and have claws and fangs and four legs so they’re really fast. Dean could die and Dad would bring his body home and they’d bury him and move far away and it would just be him and Dad forever.

All he’d have left of Dean is a bag of his favorite candy. He begins to eat again, slowly this time, swallowing hard as each piece of candy tries to get stuck in his throat. He’s sick to his stomach when he finishes but he presses the bag flat, carefully smoothing it down. This is what he can carry around of Dean’s to remember him by. He tucks it under Dean’s pillow and falls asleep with one hand still on the yellow plastic.

(Deleted comment)
I love this fandom, in which we politely thank people who break our hearts (when really, it's the BOYS who break our hearts)! Thanks for reading!

*wibbles*

Oh, man, I need to give those poor darling boys ten million hugs RIGHT NOW.

I KNOW, right? Just cuddle them and keep them safe for each other!

(Still processing your latest, by the way. More later.)

Oh yes. Lovely lovely broken little boys. This is gorgeous, and your teeny!Sammy voice is awesome.

Yeah. It's all a big favor Daddy's doing him. Right. And the thing in his closet only wants to bring him lollipops.

*hugs them*

I am especially fond of teeny!Sammy, so thanks so much! I didn't mean to write quite this much angst, but that's the way the Winchesters roll, I guess.

Awwwwww this was so good. Poor Sammy and poor Dean.

Oh, thank you! My poor boys!

Oh, god. My poor beautiful broken boys. *loves them*

*and you* ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Oh, these BOYS!

Glad you liked, hon, and hope your birthday was all you wished for.

Oh man. The poor darlings! I really love the way you've captured a nine year old's mind here - there's a subtle immaturity to how he perceives things, it's absolutely perfect. Like the "he can read lips, right?" comment - it's just so right, for him to take Dad not being able to hear Dean literally. Gorgeous, hurty little piece.

Oh, thank you so much! Sammy just doesn't get how his Daddy can do this to him, and how much it's killing Dean to be torn in two like this. Awwwww.

I don't think a bag of M&M ever made me cry before. I can see how Sam gets to the point of leaving to college from here. *sighs long*

Oh, and I'm wondering if you can post this to sn_flashback. It's a weechester comm! Take a peek!

Oh, thanks very much!

This fic is so tiny I wasn't really planning to post it anywhere else. If you think it's worthwhile to post at flashback, though, let me know and I'll do so.

I'm just gonna be in the corner until I manage to fix myself. Because you completely broke me with this. I was fine until the end, but then the image of Sammy with the empty bag of m&ms just shattered me.

Oh, sorry! The care Sammy takes with the bag is what really gets me, I have to say.

Aw. This was lovely.

Dean's been waiting weeks to hold that gun, so Sammy's surprised he's able to talk while he touches it. Ha, I bet he has!

And the thing in his closet only wants to bring him lollipops. Hee, even young Sam is snarky Sam.

This is what he can carry around of Dean’s to remember him by. And how messed up are our poor boys? *Hugs them both*


Ta, baby! These boys are so very, very messed up, poor things.

AWWW! This is so poignant. Poor Sammy!

Dean could die and Dad would bring his body home and they’d bury him and move far away and it would just be him and Dad forever.

Oh, man. That's just... wow. Fantastic. As always. Love this little fic!

Oh, you have such a soft heart! These poor little babies!

pssssst - http://monkiedude.livejournal.com/48177.html. You know you want to.

psssst pssssssst - when's your birthday?

SIGH. This kills me, as you know. Oh, DEAN. The fist-bump. AIEIEIEIEI!

♥!

From now on whenever I see a bag of peanut M&Ms, I will get a lump in my throat and a bit teary and it's all your fault.

Lovely. Wonderful Sam POV, all of them very very THEM.

I have a feeling I'll be breaking down at the supermarket sometime soon.

And thanks!

So I am TOTALLY behind here liek woah, but DAMN. Okay, how'd you manage to get me totally verklempt in the blink of an eye? Short, incisive, not a single word wasted -- and moments like this:

Daddy’s face lights up like Dean's just walked into a trap during training.

*swallows* Yeah. I have no trouble imagining the look on John's face here. It...does not surprise me at all, unfortunately.

This is what he can carry around of Dean’s to remember him by. He tucks it under Dean’s pillow and falls asleep with one hand still on the yellow plastic.

Oh Sammy. I want to take your hand and cuddle you.

I just want to smack John here - bringing up Dean at 9 when Dean thinks/knows John hasn't forgiven him for disobeying orders - and playing off Sammy's fear of the monster in his closet. Unconditional obedience.

Let's all snuggle with Sammy!

*wibbles*

I uh... I'm going to go hug something now.

*is broken into a million pieces*

Sorry! Sam would lend you some superglue, but he used it all up in "Hell House."

>>This is what he can carry around of Dean’s to remember him by.

KUNJU, ZOMG ;_;

::hugs boys::
::hugs you::

*hugs back*

Yeah, I'm sure it makes sense in nine-year-old/Sammy logic.

?

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